How to Process Grief After Losing a Loved One

Losing a loved one is one of the most devastating experiences any of us will ever face. It is so easy to spiral into depression and hopelessness when someone you loved so much is no longer around, but it is possible to stay positive and keep your hope alive, even at the seemingly worst time in your life. Of course, you will not be positive and happy all the time, and it’s totally normal (and acceptable!) to cry, but when you are ready, there are a number of things you can do to help process grief after losing a loved one.

How to Process Grief After Losing a Loved One

Take note of how you are feeling

First and foremost, try to become aware of your emotional state. If you find yourself experiencing negative emotions, it is likely that your thought patterns are pessimistic. Conversely, if you feel joyful, your thoughts are probably optimistic. The potency of your thoughts, be they positive or negative, significantly influences the intensity of your emotions. Once you know how you are feeling, you can try to accept your emotions and resolve to change them if necessary.

Do something positive to remember them

Whether it is picking out one of the beautiful urn necklaces by Memorials.com to ensure you can always remember them or it is going on a trip to that destination they always wanted to visit but never got to, doing something positive to help you remember them by, will get you feeling much better about things and show you that you are strong enough to move on because you still have part of them with you, whether it is physically a part of them or the part of them that lives in your memories.

Talk about them

Some people avoid talking about the loved ones they have lost because they do not want to be a burden on other people or because they find it too difficult to do so, but actually, it can be one of the best things to do if you want to move into a more positive place with your grief.

Engaging in conversations with others about the wonderful moments you and your loved one shared, you’ll be amazed at how this can lift your spirits. Since you’re already reminiscing about them, why not focus on the delightful memories and bring them to the forefront of your mind!

Spend more time in the here and now

During the grieving process, it’s natural to find yourself frequently reflecting on the past and the memories shared with your loved one. While it’s important to cherish these memories, it’s equally crucial to ground yourself in the present and focus on the here and now. By staying present, you can cultivate emotional resilience, engage more fully with life, and create new, positive experiences that contribute to your healing.

One of the best strategies for spending more time in the here and now is to practice mindfulness. Here’s how you can do that:

1. Find a quiet, comfortable space: Choose a location where you won’t be disturbed or distracted. You can sit on a cushion, chair, or even on the floor, ensuring that your back is straight but not rigid. If you prefer, you can also lie down.
2. Set a timer: Decide how long you’d like to meditate, especially if you’re new to the practice. Beginners may start with just 5 to 10 minutes and gradually increase the duration as they become more comfortable.
3. Close your eyes: Gently close your eyes to minimize visual distractions and help you focus inward.
4. Bring attention to your breath: Without trying to change or control it, simply observe your natural breathing. Pay attention to the sensation of the air entering your nostrils, filling your lungs, and the feeling of the breath as it leaves your body.
5. Observe your thoughts: It’s natural for thoughts to arise during meditation. When you notice your mind wandering, gently acknowledge the thought and let it pass, like a cloud floating across the sky. Then, return your focus to your breath.

Do this at least once each day and you will find that you spend less time dwelling on the negative and more time simply being. This will definitely help to tip you into a more positive mindset.

Spend more time with loved ones

When you have lost a loved one, it can be easy to feel alone, but you are not alone – you have other people who care for you, so make a point of spending more time with them, laughing, crying, and just being and things will look much better.

Make an effort to think more positively

If you do find yourself thinking negative thoughts, then it is a good idea to try and stop yourself and spin them into the most positive version that you can. For example, if you are thinking you will never be able to live without your loved one being around, you can remind yourself that they are always with you in your memories and in the impact they had upon your life, so they are never truly gone, and this will help to push you into a more positive direction.

If that particular technique is too hard, then try adding a “but” to the end of any negative thought, and follow it up with a positive. So, you could be thinking “I miss him so much” instead of ruminating on that thought, add a “but we had an amazing life together.” to make it a bit more positive for you.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve, so if you cannot find it in yourself to be positive, then do not beat yourself up about it. But you may well find that, if you try the above, you are better able to process grief after losing a loved one. And day by day and you might start to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and things can be good again.